It's Not Me. It's You.

Looking back, I realize you gave up a long time ago and I was doing all the work to keep us going. I mistook your age for wisdom and just assumed things were supposed to be that way. I didn't know any better. As you probably know, I had my eye out for something new. Something better. I guess it was wrong of me, but on the other hand, it was your opportunity to step up to the plate. I was almost relieved when you didn't. You were making my life so complicated, and I didn't even know it until I let you go. Once I cleared my life of all your drama, I was able to meet my sew mate. My, how things have changed. 

Sticking With What Works

Felt Calendar

Family Christmas Stockings

Birthday Shirt

Finally, something that worked out just as it should - AND fits.

Simple Sundress, Part D'oh!

The day I learn that one cannot iron doubleknit

So allow me to just cut to the chase and say that doubleknit fabric is like meeting a really alluring, interesting person who - after spending a little time with them - you begin to realize is an absolute jerk. But they're so charming that you initially make excuses for them. It's not her; it's me. Maybe she was just having a bad day. We simply got off on the wrong foot. Soon enough, though, you realize it is her. Some people are simply perverse, and there's nothing you can do about it. Meet Doubleknit. She may look glorious. You may have images in your mind of daring projects completed with her modish, retro patterns. But she will never allow it. It's best to just leave her alone. The same goes for Dupioni Silk. I think they're made for each other - unless, of course you (naive, enthusiastic Angry Seamstress) try to make something with the two of them. But that was the second of the sundresses that I made. The first, with the Yui Kokeshi fabric I've been hanging on to since 2009, went flawlessly. Let's do a little math. One successful, rewarding sundress project with very few hiccups and even fewer curse words + one basically disastrous, unwearable sundress project that potentially ruined my iron and caused both me and my sewing machine to take frequent breaks due to overheating = a carefully arranged photograph of a veil of success.

Simple Afternoon Project

Or – How I Spent My [Entire] Weekend

The Monkey

The actual sock monkey part of this project, while time consuming (because The Angry Seamstress, when placed before a sewing machine, retrogrades to some kind of alternate time realm, not unlike dog years) went well. It all worked out and was pretty uneventful, but to make this part of the story a little more interesting for you followers (all THREE of you now!), I’ll tell you this: I presented the cashier at Hobby Robby the obligatory Rockford Red Heel Socks, two sheets of cardstock, and my 40% off coupon. She asked if I’d like to use the coupon for the socks ($12.00) or the paper (25 cents a sheet). I paused for a moment before answering because that has to be a joke, right? No dice.

The Dress

A friend of mine has made this Simple Sundress for her daughters, so I thought something with Simple right there in the title would provide an easy and quick way to dress up Lady Monkey. I feel obligated to point out that something with the word Simple in the title should not involve French Seams. But the French Seams weren't the problem. It was the sizing. The pattern offers measurements for girls age six months through eight years but mentions nothing about monkeys (who, as I would later learn, are quite tall). I thought, surely, Lady Monkey is smaller than a six month old, so I divided all measurements for the six month pattern by two and decided to just go for it. This is where my all-my-latest-sewing-projects-have-been-going-as-planned-and-making-me-happy streak ran out. Now, Lady Monkey has the word Lady right there in her name, so she should not be showing off her lady business, right? And, is it going too far to add that the area of the monkey that is being covered by the modesty patch is the area where the stuffing was added and then hand stitched? With brown thread? Quite a bit of it? It's all kinds of wrong.